I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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