i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
