is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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