I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
