I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
