I must be too annoying 4 u.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
