with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think my vagina is haunted
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
