It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
