My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
