I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
