I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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