Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
only if we run a train.
done.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
