at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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