I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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