I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
