your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize