just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
