This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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