"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
