So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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