he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
