he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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