i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have demons in me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize