But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
