Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My liver just had a heart attack.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
