can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
