What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
