Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
