So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
