I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize