My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
