i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize