your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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