Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
