we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
