u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize