Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
