You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
