If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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