yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
