I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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