I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
