Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
