Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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