Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
