why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
