why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
