Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
