Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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