Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
