my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
