there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
