i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
