I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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