I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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