theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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