It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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