right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
