so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
