Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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