I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize