His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
