Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
