cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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