i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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