u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
