hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My ass is underappreciated
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
